Happily Ever After Gone Wrong: What You Do with the Guilt of Ending a Marriage
Divorce is an ordeal with mixed emotions. There is a sense of relief because the shaky relationship will finally see its end. There is also regret due to the conflict, as well as worry for the children’s welfare.
Apart from the basket of feelings, one emotion often stands out during the process, and that is guilt.
Numerous reasons trigger guilty feelings after divorce. Some are valid while others are up for consideration. For example, if your ex had a controlling personality, they might convince you that all marital problems were your fault. Naturally, you will feel guilty.
Dwelling in such guilt, however, is not healthy. Instead of subjecting yourself to guilt, here is how you can break free:
Pause and Reflect
Start by determining the reason for your guilt about the divorce. Run through the entire scenario in your mind. Did you do something that deserves your guilt?
When it comes to divorce, leaving and separating from your spouse should not cause guilt, especially if you have sound reasons. Recognize your feelings of guilt and determine if what you did contradicts with your convictions.
If you did something wrong, acknowledge it. Everyone makes mistakes, including you and your ex-spouse. But if you did not do anything wrong, your guilt is invalid.
Separate Yourself from Them
In some cases, guilt occurs due to the people and circumstances that influence your feelings. No one else, however, should dictate your decisions. Remember, you are not responsible for what your spouse or other people believe in.
People will say divorce is a sin or that it was your job to keep the marriage alive. Still, these are just opinions of other people; life doesn’t always live out as perfectly as we’d hope for either.
Ending your marriage should not result in prolonged guilty feelings. There is a reason things should end — and in most cases, it is for the best. Our firm can help you in your pursuit of a new life. Get in touch with our practice today and let us assist you through these trying times.